Saturday, June 27, 2009

Ramblings of an uncanny mind

I just can't define myself. If you ask what is my personality I don't have a clear answer. May be that is what I am. May be not. I don't even know if I am easily predictable or not.

One thing I can safely say about myself is that I am unstable. No, not in that dangerous way you think of. Just that I have volatile emotions, a few sublime qualities that are rarely seen, and a highly inflammable temper. That sounds like a chemistry lab, right? Well, chemicals are what all our emotions are made of, they say. And as long as the proportions do not greatly vary from the desired limits, you are normal. So actually, I am normal. But I can't deny that I am partially insane. But for that matter, who in the big wide world isn't?

If you are sane, you should probably stop reading this at this point. Oh! but you don't. So that means you are not as sane as you believe too! Join the club.

Sometimes, I think I am thinking too much about myself. Am I being so self-centered, selfish, egotistical, egoistical, and whatnot? oops! I am still thinking about myself. But if I had done that for a fair period of time, I should have found out who I am and what stuff I am made of. But I haven't got around finding out that so far. May be I am stupid, no I think I am definitely stupid. That's comforting to say the least. Atleast I am not eccentric.

Well, coming to the point (I know you are wondering if I really have one, well hold on please) what I mean to say is actually you should be glad if you are yet to know yourself. The fact that you surprise yourself at moments, that you feel emotions that you never know existed within you, you do stuff that you never knew you could, discover things that you never imagined you would, gives you a new lease of life, everytime. That's the way of life. Do not label yourself.

Give in, give in, give in like a leaf to the eternal breeze that's called life.

Of course, resist change; fight change; but at the end happily give in, with the knowledge that you fought with all your might. That the change was not inflicted upon you, but you allowed it consciously, albeit reluctantly. Trust me, it gives you an inexplicable satisfaction.

What you have to really fear is stagnation, it is delightfully comfortable, oh yes! but only if you look forward to bury your soul and rest your head there.



8 comments:

SK said...

I can very easily imagine that everyone is in this club. If you have found whom you are what is in with you, then there is no interesting things anymore.

SK said...

அது தெரியாத வரைக்கும் தான் அது 'இப்படி இருக்குமோ, அப்படி இருக்குமோ' எல்லாம் தெரிஞ்சுடிச்சுனா 'சி இவ்ளோ தானா' அப்படின்னு ஆகிடும். :-)

Deepa said...

You are right SK!
Thanks for the visit and comment. :-)

நாகா said...

நீங்கள்தானா அது என்று உறுதிப்படுத்தும் வரை ஒரு பெண்ணின் வலைப்பூவில் பின்னூட்டமிடச் சற்றே தயக்கமாய் இருந்தது. பல்லாயிரம் மின்னஞ்சல்களுக்குமுன் வந்த உங்கள் திருமண அழைப்பை(May 11, 2005) பார்த்தவுடன்தான் உணர்ந்தேன் - உலகம் எவ்வளவு சிறியது என்று.. நேரமிருப்பின் என் வலைப்பூவிற்கு வரவும். உங்கள் மகளுக்கு என் அன்பும் ஆசியும்.

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RICHIE said...

jus wow! from the heart....

Saravanan Krishnamoorthy said...

Great! This post reminds me of two thoughts that I have read! (not exactly related, but closely - one in a lighter vein, the other is quite well known)

Enigmatic one should be, not only to others, but also to oneself. I study myself; when I tire of that, I smoke a cigar, to pass time, thinking, God knows what Our Lord really has meant me to be, or what he will make of me!
A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.

BTW, have you tried MBTI personality types? would be interesting to know your score! Yes yes, it is not totally scientific neither is it just pure divination - some useful insights with a bit of fluff. However, in this MBTI, there is very little new-agey pop psychology fluff so I think it is surely much level-headed.

And you write well, keep up the good work!

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